So Fucking Tired

If this type of cancer can be stopped with surgery
If the surgery will mutilate me
If I agree

If after surgery I'll be able to really LIVE
If they're planning chemo on me
I don't know anything

Pet-scans, MRI, blood tests
Operations, medication, loneliness
Strangers' brutality, strangers' kindness

If I do everything they're telling me
Still no guarantee
The solution I can't see
Dissolution of me